On that front, the final date left for me is my commencement which will be in December. I look forward to celebrating with family and friends, and I will hopefully be feeling well enough to enjoy that day.
That brings me to the other meaning of "starting over again." In late June, I transitioned to oral chemotherapy, which I did for two cycles, lasting about 5 weeks. Then, I decided to take a break from the chemo to get ready for the new school year. I knew that at my current energy levels I couldn't really get my classroom into the kind of shape that it needed to be or have the energy to build relationships with my students, which would put us both in good stead, when I needed to start treatment again. Around mid-September, I could finally start to notice the changes in my body. I was no longer dragging during the day or coming home and immediately falling asleep.
After about two weeks of feeling better, I had a CT scan and decided with my doctor that I needed to go back on chemotherapy. Not coincidentally I'm sure, that night I began to have about a week of gastro-intestinal issues. I think my body and mind were trying to come to grips with the fact that I probably won't be without some sort of chemotherapy for at least several months, and for the foreseeable future most likely any breaks will be short-term ones, like the past two and a half months. That is a daunting proposition.
It raises a lot of questions for me about work, finances and exactly what my next best steps are. There are several issues that need to be more completely resolved over the next couple of months, such as my final sick bank eligibility (my union has been very accommodating me), my body's reaction to the chemo this time, and how strongly I want to fight to keep working. Please pray for me to have the discernment to think these things carefully, and to trust the Lord for His Provision regardless of what trials come my way over the next weeks, months or years.
I am thankful to my brother for flying out yesterday to be with me, for my sisters and brother-in-law sacrificing to make it possible for my mom to come out tonight, for John Traynor who is going to pick her up at the airport, for Jennifer Smolek who agreed to work with my class again while I am out and to co-teach with me when I at school and for my school district making that possible. I am also thankful for so many other people who do big and (only seemingly) small things to support me and my family through this time.
I know that many of you have been praying for me, even though I haven't been updating regularly. I appreciate that so much. Please pray that the gastrointestinal side effects that I experienced on this same Folfiri treatment in late January and February will be more under control this time. That is my biggest worry at this point. Back then, I was also experiencing severe nausea and you all prayed and the doctors added four or five anti-nausea meds and it went from the worst nausea I'd ever had to relatively mild. That all said, I am hoping that between God's grace and power and my renewed attempts to try to implement the doctors' and nutrionists' best recommendations will make these side effect more manageable and less unpredictable.
I am also praying that an easier start to this treatments cycle will mean that I don't become as exhausted as quickly. Part of why I stopped treatment was a consistent downward trend in my energy and an increase in an overwhelming sense of fatigue as my treatments progressed. I think some of that is normal, but I am hoping to counteract it as much as possible. I am going to try to be more active, even when I'm not working, to help myself stay strong and to keep on a normal sleep schedule.
It's a balancing act, because there were times when it was clear that I had overdone it while feeling okay, then paid for it the next day. However, I think by July the lethargy had taken over and perhaps forcing myself to get out once in a while during treatment would have helped maintain some of my energy. All that to say, I could use prayer for my physical and mental energy levels to remain high.
It's a balancing act, because there were times when it was clear that I had overdone it while feeling okay, then paid for it the next day. However, I think by July the lethargy had taken over and perhaps forcing myself to get out once in a while during treatment would have helped maintain some of my energy. All that to say, I could use prayer for my physical and mental energy levels to remain high.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates... and then the never-ending ones when I finally get around to it! I appreciate all your prayers, words of encouragement and practical helps. You all mean a lot to my family and me.
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